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Sunday, March 22, 2009

food stamps. mental health stigmas. the office.

Okay. Today I applied for food stamps. I'm really really not proud of this, but if I'm accepted for food stamps it will be a lot easier to defer my student loans. And really, there is no way I can handle another bill on top of everything. Anyway, during the application it asked if I had health reasons for not working. Or if I didn't work because I was disabled. And I really didn't know how to answer those.

I'm currently not working or in school because I have really bad depression and panic disorder and an eating disorder and unofficially diagnosed borderline personality disorder. Basically I have a lot of mental health issues. But I feel like those are bullshit reasons to not work. I really do. But that probably just makes me more depressed and more likely to have an anxiety attack. So wtf am I supposed to do? The last few days I've been a perfect commercial for depression or Paxil or Wellbutrin or Celexa or whatever when there's some person who's all by themselves looking really glum. Or maybe not because they never show people curled up in the fetal position crying in bed having not showered in 3 days in a very messy room with diet coke cans and snickers wrappers everywhere. Ugh. TMI sorry.

Anyway, I just read an article about depression and the stigma associated with it. It's about a study which concluded that people are more comfortable with admitting that they're gay, alcoholic, have cancer or are bankrupt. Seriously. People are more comfortable saying "I'm bankrupt" than "I have a mental health problem." I'm not judging bankruptcy because I'm pretty much bankrupt too. Haha. Reminds me of the episode of the Office where Michael "declares" bankruptcy. Check it out:

8 comments:

jen said...

now I'm more clued up about your massive life-selling on eBay quest! Life can def be rough sometimes! Hope you find a way to get through it!!! X

insomniaclolita said...

Oh girlieee, I hope you'll find your way out really. been there but got better thankfully. You can too.

Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch) said...

wow, that is depression? I must be depressed then b/c I have nothing but empty cans and snicker wrappers while I lay in bed watching movie after movie. I just think I am in a pissy mood. Hope everything gets better :/

epiloguetravis said...

It's pretty fucked up how much of a sigma there is. Has been extremely hard telling people I'm being treated for depression / SAD. It's weird, because we don't think of our brains as a part of our body that can get sick, like everything else. Hope things work out.

floreta said...

aw you shouldn't feel bad that you can't work!! i have a friend who has BPD, bipolar, etc. and it's VERY hard for her to keep a stable schedule let alone work! it's a total legit reason.. but i hear you on not wanting to admit depression. i have been hell bent on not admitting that myself when i'm pretty sure i had a mild one.

ps: thanks so much for all your comments on my blog! <3

Sam said...

Don't be ashamed for applying for food stamps. If that's what you need to get on your feet, than do it. And, mental health issues are definitely not bs reasons not to work. If they're so serious that they're taking over your life, that's not bs. Stay strong, and don't give up. I've been through a lot in the past year and even though I thought things would never get better, they did.

Thanks for the blog comment too!

Diana said...

Humbling yourself to buy food stamps is nothing shameful. That is what they are there for. Good luck in your finances!

DiANAB. said...

hang in there, be strong.

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