satori, grandma's black eye, stephen colbert and other stuff too

Well to be honest, I've found my zen, or satori, or whatever buddhist word is appropriate here. I am pretty well in the hole but I've got nothing to lose. So I'm done stressing about it and am relatively quite a bit more peaceful.

And thanks to someone who is always there for me when I need him, I am nibbling on parmesan Goldfish. So good.

My grandma tripped and fell in a restaurant yesterday when she went to lunch with "the girls" after church. Apparently her face is pretty messed up and she can't even open one eye. I really don't know why I don't feel more terrible about this.

Tomorrow I must go visit Jill in the hospital (seriously Sarah. You must do this!). I feel like such a flaky friend. Ugh. And today I must do situps, pushups and arm curls(maybe). /: I've lost 3 of the 10 pounds I've recently gained but I also lost my abs which were just starting to be defined when I lost all motivation to exercise. But summer is pretty close and I dunno, every year I think THIS is the year I'm going to have a perfect body for summer. Although I don't even know where/when I will be exposing my body as I have no social life. I guess I could tan in my parents' back yard (:

Oh and I've been listening to Stephen Colbert's "I Am American and So Can You" on audiobook and he is hilarious. Some of my favorite quotes so far:

You can't spell parentry without 'try.' And you also can't spell emotional abuse without 'bus.' And that's why I don't take public transportation.

Yes, I consider the wallpaper industry part of the media. It has the word "paper" in it.

To their credit Mormonism's founders did something other self-proclaimed prophets throughout history had never thought of; They lived in America.

oh AND PS: This made me laugh. Karl Lagerfeld on Heidi Klum: "I don't know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn't know who she is."

oh and Wolfgang Joop calls her fat. click here

Clutch #8

Last night I watched five episodes of Heroes. Tonight I had a Lipstick Jungle marathon (I adore Victory Ford and aspire to be her some day. Complete with millionaire love interest) and then a Fringe marathon. Then I watched an episode of the Simpsons. I love hulu.

Is it bad that I am really interested in electroconvulsive therapy? I wasn't aware they even still used this until a friend of mine mentioned it. But then I wikipedia'd it and apparently it's quite safe and relatively effective. I wonder if my insurance would cover this ... uhh.

I made chicken cordon bleu for the first time today (also the first time eating it) and it was pretty tasty. btw this cooking blog is awesome. I saw my therapist today and I think every time I see her I surprise her a little more with my strange thoughts, philosophies, theories, etc. I like her though and she is easy to talk to.

I was thinking ... it's not so bad that I have no money to pay any bills. Because soon my phone will be turned off. And then collections can't call me! Haha. Sad. Believe it or not, I actually currently have a pretty good credit score. April will be the end of that though. ): Talking about money is boring and lame and tacky. I'll stop.

My dog is adorable and trying to keep his sleepy eyes open to watch me from his vantage point on the bed. I love him.



p.s. oh yeah, the clutch will be listed on etsy tomorrow (provided i wake up before the daylight is gone again) i need to take proper pictures and sew a snap closure on it first. (:

p.p.s. oh and why the hell am i selling my ds just when GRAND THEFT AUTO: CHINATOWN WARS is coming out?

1. i'm still not asleep. it's 6:33 and i can smell my dad cooking his breakfast. ew.

2. i just checked my email and gilt.com is having a helmut lang sale AND an oscar de la renta sale today at noon so i better fucking get to sleep so i can wake up in time to look at clothes that i don't even have credit card money for.

3. i just activated two credit cards that i've had for awhile (i just got new ones), and one of them made me talk to a real lady. her name was deborah and she sounded like a robot. i kept zoning out like when you're on an airplane and the flight attendants are droning on about wearing your seatbelt and inflating your oxygen mask, except this person kept trying to get me to sign up for some credit protection program and i was like UGH i'm already UNEMPLOYED, can you cancel my balance up to $10,000.00 NOW?

4. i think i broke up with my boyfriend last night. i'm still undecided on whether it really doesn't bother me that much, or if i'm just dissociating myself from my feelings.

5. ftbs.