I had a dream last night. This is random, scattered recollections of it:
I remember standing on a street corner helping a giant woman (she seemed giant, was probably at least 6 feet tall and very big boned) take off her coat. I could tell that she and her two friends were German because they were talking w/eachother. And I for whatever reason decided to try to talk to them. My german is terrible and I said "Entschuldigung Sie bitte" which is like "excuse me" as I tried to walk around them. Then I asked "Konnen ich hilfe mit der buttons?" cuz I could tell this woman seemed a bit "special" and was trying to get her coat off.
Anyway, I helped her get the coat off and then I started crossing the street. Jeremy was in the middle of the street crossing diagonally even though there were cars coming and he said "Bun! Come follow me this way! I discovered something that other people on earth don't know about yet!" So I followed.
Eventually I got to the building I apparently lived in. Peter was there and tried to jump over a fence but kept not making it. I said "Aah! Don't kill yourself." and then somehow a penis joke got started. It probably went something like this:
Don't kill yourself Peter!
I'll kill you!
I'll kill your penis!
Your mom has a penis.
YOU have a penis! OH wait.
Or something equally tasteful and classy. Both Christina and Jeremy were there to join in. Peter and Jeremy were roommates and Christina and I lived together. We heard ZJ whining from the apt so we hurried up the stairs to get him. He'd peed on the floor but I wasn't mad because I blamed it on myself for leaving him home alone so long.
OH SHIT. I remember I was going to give my dentist a blowjob (WTF?) And I can't remember why, but it was in payment for something like my fake tooth that I have. He was not attractive (in reality I actually have an okay-looking dentist). He kept trying to have sex with me though and I was like "Stay away from my pussy! I'm not having sex with you!" And also was taking FOREVER to finish. Eventually I just asked him "How long is this going to take? Are you ... close?" and he acted all mock offended but I could tell he was really pissed off and frustrated. He said "You don't have to stay here. It's not like I'm going to take anything back if you don't stay."
There were also other people that I know from church Sunday school including a girl who's dead now. And I remember in the dream contemplating whether or not I could ever date her because she was super butch in real life.
There were necklaces that had messages written in beads on them, but I just had 3 blank cords around my neck.
Anyway, Mr. Dentist's penis was awful I hated it. I left because I felt really awful and sleazy. And then I think that's when I met up with the German ladies on the street corner.