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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Selling Prints, Psychiatry & Bad Ideas.

In my previous post I mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. I'd seen a psychiatrist once or twice when I went to college and I didn't really like or dislike him. He annoyed me a little because once because I think he implied he thought I had an alcohol problem. Anyway, this guy I saw last Thursday was pretty cool. He did not accuse me of having an alcohol problem, though he did ask if I thought the TV was trying to send me secret messages.

Anyway, I've been taking Wellbutrin because my previous insurance wouldn't cover Cymbalta which is my anti-depressant of choice. Now that the state is paying for all my medical stuff, I'm back on Cymbalta (adjusting is hard) and also got a rx for Ambien and Xanax (for insomnia and panic attacks respectively). Well last night, due to my change of anti depressants, I was feeling reeeally panicky and it was late so I thought "Oh I'll just take this Ambien and it'll put me to sleep." but it didn't make me sleepy. And I was still panicking. So I thought "Oh I'll take a Xanax and THAT'll put me to sleep."

And it did. But not before I did all kinds of ridiculous things I have only vague memories of.

I woke up and thought "huh. I smell like smoke." Shit! I ruined my 2 week streak of no smoking. Apparently last night I thought cigarettes would be a good idea so I drove to the gas station and bought a pack (I also bought some sweet berry Stride gum as evidenced by a glance into my purse this morning). I recall running into a curb and I still haven't gotten the nerve to go outside and make sure I didn't do anything bad to my car. I don't think I "drunk" dialed anybody, but I checked one of my chat boxes this morning and apparently I'd told someone "oh man. xanax + ambien = like 4 shots of vodka on an empty stomach!"

Today all I can do is shake my head in disappointment. The worst part was this morning I woke up with an equally bad, if not worse panic attack but I'm afraid of taking anything lest I go crazy being pretend drunk! I'm going to assume my downfall was the combi of ambien and xanax together because I've had them both before separately with no crazy effects.

Well. Anyway, I listed my monster drawings as prints you can buy from my etsy shop. I hadn't updated my paper store for awhile and though it was due time.

Next post I'm going to address the results of the poll I took. I have a few things to say about that. (:


Lily G. said...

these are fabulous prints!

Sarahahaha said...

thank you lily (:

ScoMan said...

Wow, your lucky you didn't have an accident and hurt yourself driving around in that state. Sounds like a pretty dangerous combination.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cloud dog.

Just Add Walter said...

ambien is crazy... my mom was on it for awhile and one night drove to walmart in her nightgown and didn't even realize it until someone found her. be careful!!

Anonymous said...

Serious anxiety and panic attacks are really terrifying. Keep talking to the psychiatrist and keep working out the meds. Don't let the meds be another source of stress in your life.

Good luck sweetie!

Stephanie said...

I've done some strange things on Ambien, but never Xanax & I've never mixed the 2. Good thing you made it to the store and back in one piece.

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