sex toys

Once upon a time I bought a rabbit vibrator. And I don't know whether to be embarrassed or smug about the fact that I burned the motor out on it because I was too tight. The first time I thought it was a product defect so I returned it for a new one but the same thing happened again. I was too embarrassed to go back AGAIN and that wasn't the only problem with it; the ears that are supposed to flick your clit felt like they were burning it off. And the "pearls" felt like they were punching me from the inside. Because of that and other mediocre vibrator experiences, I'm not generally a fan of toys.

But. For whatever reason I've been online window shopping for sex toys and found some interesting products:


1. Thigh Master + dildo = The Monarch Hands-free Silicone Dildo

2. Sex Counter Cock Ring. It counts BPM's or "Bonks per minute."



3. The cutest vibrator I have ever seen.



4. Clear Fleshlights!!!?? Hot.

5. <3 shaped breast massagers?"

6. A vibrator that I kid you not is called "My First G Spot Kit" and looks like it's for a 4 year old.