i'm alive!

i've taken a long hiatus from blogging ... my excuses include: mental breakdowns, holidays and general lack of motivation, but there are a few things i'd like to share, which bring me back from my blogging vacay:



1. oliveandolivia is a fantastic new blog that must add to add to your feed reader. Olive & Olivia find amazing design finds including stuff for your home, accessories and anything super hip. One of my favorites is the polaroid flower vase they featured.

They even did a feature on my etsy store!

2. I'm starting a new etsy store. Hopefully it will get off the ground and running soon because I plan to capitalize on Valentine's Day cards. It's going to be http://kindofgay.etsy.com/ and will be cards and other paper products with a "kind of gay" theme. The following pictures are cards with hand traced designs on them. I found the designs in a vintage architecture book changing them slightly to reappropriate them for my cards.











3. i had a bone marrow biopsy, which sucked. but oxycodone does not suck. This video looks brutal, ignore the chit-chat going on during the procedure:


More on bone marrow stuff soon.

What do you think about the cards?

Selling Prints, Psychiatry & Bad Ideas.

In my previous post I mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. I'd seen a psychiatrist once or twice when I went to college and I didn't really like or dislike him. He annoyed me a little because once because I think he implied he thought I had an alcohol problem. Anyway, this guy I saw last Thursday was pretty cool. He did not accuse me of having an alcohol problem, though he did ask if I thought the TV was trying to send me secret messages.

Anyway, I've been taking Wellbutrin because my previous insurance wouldn't cover Cymbalta which is my anti-depressant of choice. Now that the state is paying for all my medical stuff, I'm back on Cymbalta (adjusting is hard) and also got a rx for Ambien and Xanax (for insomnia and panic attacks respectively). Well last night, due to my change of anti depressants, I was feeling reeeally panicky and it was late so I thought "Oh I'll just take this Ambien and it'll put me to sleep." but it didn't make me sleepy. And I was still panicking. So I thought "Oh I'll take a Xanax and THAT'll put me to sleep."

And it did. But not before I did all kinds of ridiculous things I have only vague memories of.

I woke up and thought "huh. I smell like smoke." Shit! I ruined my 2 week streak of no smoking. Apparently last night I thought cigarettes would be a good idea so I drove to the gas station and bought a pack (I also bought some sweet berry Stride gum as evidenced by a glance into my purse this morning). I recall running into a curb and I still haven't gotten the nerve to go outside and make sure I didn't do anything bad to my car. I don't think I "drunk" dialed anybody, but I checked one of my chat boxes this morning and apparently I'd told someone "oh man. xanax + ambien = like 4 shots of vodka on an empty stomach!"

Today all I can do is shake my head in disappointment. The worst part was this morning I woke up with an equally bad, if not worse panic attack but I'm afraid of taking anything lest I go crazy being pretend drunk! I'm going to assume my downfall was the combi of ambien and xanax together because I've had them both before separately with no crazy effects.

Well. Anyway, I listed my monster drawings as prints you can buy from my etsy shop. I hadn't updated my paper store for awhile and though it was due time.

sarahahaha.etsy.com

Next post I'm going to address the results of the poll I took. I have a few things to say about that. (:

frustrated

I am so hungry. I don't like to talk a lot about eating/weight issues here because it seems trivial, but I am really irritated I have a pair of jeans that don't fit me anymore. Honestly I fucking hate working out. It never works for me as a means of weight loss because it makes me SO hungry and I end up building a ton of muscle and putting on fat too because I eat so much more. I'm trying to cut calories without going too crazy about it, but that's hard for me to do too.

Today is sunny, hopefully that will help my mood.

Today I have an "intake appointment" at a mental health clinic. I am not sure what this means, but I think it has something to do with changing therapists. Not excited at all about that. Also not excited about how my mom wants to go with me and then go to thrift shopping afterward. Meh. She might buy me stuff though, so maybe I should have her come along. And I do hate driving ...

Stupid.

I started writing some letters to friends that I've said I'd send fun surprises to. If anyone wants a snailmail letter and probably stickers and maybe some other fun stuff, send me your address to moenoep[at]hotmail[com]. I just bought a bunch of stamps and I love sending and receiving mail.


I took these pictures a few days ago when I was out sunbathing. Hope it's another day like this ...